What your bedroom is thinking while you're hooking up...

Entertaining...

TV: Guys, he just put on The Notebook! He's hooking up!

Door: I'm not locked! I'm not locked! What do I do?!

Walls: Oh god, the pressure, why can't we be thicker?

Computer: Does this mean no porn tonight? Awh man...

Wallet: I THINK there's a condom in me. If not, bad luck Bed.

Bed: Ahh sh*t, I was only changed yesterday. Wait, they might do it on the carpet like last time.

Carpet: Not a chance, I gave him a burn he won't soon forget. You're screwed.

Bed: Desk?

Desk: Are you kidding? They only do it on me in the movies. I'm so lonely...

Bed: Thank god this chick is lighter than that last one. I was aching for

days.

Carpet: Awh yeah! His shirt just landed on me. It's going down!

Bed: Ouch, take it easy guys! You're not 16 anymore.

Wallet: Yeah, I've got a condom. We're good to go.

Chair: Why am I always facing away from the bed? Anyone got a camera?

Computer: I'm on it.

Bed: He's gentler than last time. Way to go, Steve!

Door: Sh*t guys, if someone comes in we are so screwed, I mean we are really-

Hallway floorboards: Crrrrk...

All: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Hallway floorboards: ...

Door: Phew, false alarm.

Bed: Almost done over here guys.

Desk: How do you know?

Bed: I just do. I've been here for 6 years... OK, he's done.

Lamp: And you know what happens now!

Condom: F*ck yeah! That was awesome! Where are we going now?

Trashcan: No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

by Tom Philip